Culture Drop: Funerals

Deaths (faty in Malagasy) are a very humbling cultural experience.  My town is so small that a death is felt throughout the entire community.  In fact, I’m pretty sure that most of the town is composed of only a few large, extended families, so deaths are felt even more so.  Word of a death passes rather quickly, so quickly that by the next morning, everyone knows not to go to their fields, but to participate in the visitation rituals.  Deaths of the young are treated with solemn reflection, a life taken too early.  Deaths of elders are treated with revelry, however.  In fact, when an elder is about to die, people start planning the party and picking out which cow they’re going to kill well beforehand.  It’s not a sign of disrespect, but rather a tribute to how much they value a long life.  In a town of little money and no electricity, killing a cow and buying fuel to run a generator all night for a party is a really big deal.  The visitation day (days if the family is “rich”) goes as follows:

1.     All the women in the town gather pots and plates from the stock at the women’s group and begin cooking rice for the entire town.

2.     If it is the death of an elder, the men kill a cow.  If it is the death of a young person, the meal will be simple like beans or small shrimp.

3.     Men gather in small groups and put money together to offer the deceased’s family as a condolence gift.  The amount each person gives ranges from the equivalent of 10 to 50 cents.

4.     The group of men walk over to where the family of the deceased lives.  There will be one house that one family member always stays in receiving visitors.  We arrive, all sit in a circle, and then the eldest of us (never me thankfully) makes a speech about how sorry we are, but grateful to have made the acquaintance of the deceased.  Then, the family responds by thanking us for visiting and telling a short story about the deceased.

5.     We then leave the house, sit in the shade, and eat food the women of the town have prepared.  No one gets his own plate; we have our own spoons but eat out of a communal bowl of rice and kabaka (side dish).

6.     After everyone finishes eating, the bowls are removed and the other men tell stories and sit around.  The women are cooking, serving, and socializing throughout the entire day.

7.     We return again in groups at points through the day and evening just to visit; that way the grieving family is never alone.  The community is always there to support them.